Little Boys

Had a nice time in DC this past weekend. Matt got off all of last week for spring break, but he worked until Thursday in order to save vacation days. We had a good time and were able to ride the metros, visit the museums, and take a Capitol tour without a certain someone stressing out too much. Although that certain someone did have a couple of "We can't take these kids anywhere!" moments. But luckily I am talented enough to calm down that certain someone and two kids at the same time without any bystanders secretly wondering if they should report us to DHS. Madeline definitely had a blast at the hotel and pool, so much fun in fact that all she talks about is going back to a hotel. So now I have something new to bribe her with-a hotel stay. I'll let you know how this new parenting tip works out. I see great things to come.

The minute we got home yesterday, Toby took off for the backyard. I'll tell you what, a couple of months ago I thought it would be nice to just have more boys from now on because Toby has been so easy. But I'm beginning to rethink this wish. He has turned into a boy almost overnight. The little guy now pulls Madeline's hair, tries to tackle her, and grunts like a 300 lb man. The minute he is outside his hands become magnets and everything from cigarettes to dog poop he picks up. He also has a surprising knack to find the biggest sticks in our yard and use them as swords to chase the birds with. Any psychologist trying to tell us there is no difference between girls and boys should be laughed off as a nutcase. I definitely would remembered this if Madeline was acting this way a year and half ago. Actually an incident happened while we were in DC that made me wonder if Matt used to pick up sticks as a little boy or if he had to have the sticks wiped down with hand sanitizer first in order to kill all the germs. We were at an ice cream shop and Madeline had to use the bathroom. Matt was talking to a couple of his friends so I took Madeline. Madeline kept saying "I have to put this down Mommy". I ignored her and said sit down and pee. But she persisted and said "Mommy help me-I have to sit on this". She's never talked about this while using a public bathroom before, so I had no idea what she was talking about. But what do you know she was referring to a toilet protector. You know what I'm talking about-those flimsy gift wrap like tissue paper things that germ freaks put down on the toilet before they take a crap. Like this tissue paper is going to protect them from any germs. I ask Madeline-did Daddy tell you to use this? "Yes" And of course the tissue paper had to be carefully situated exactly on top of the toilet or else she would not pee. Great one more thing she is going to have to do in the bathroom now.

So we get back to the table and I ask Matt. "Did you tell Madeline she has to use a pisser protector when she uses the bathroom?"Matt, "Yeah, doesn't everyone use one of those?" Myself along with our other friends start laughing. "What germs are your butt cheeks going to carry Matt?" Matt's response, "Well you guys would be surprised how many germs you are carrying." Yep I probably would, but I still won't be using a pisser protector anytime soon.